Context

A few days ago i went to an appointment with a new therapist. Long story short my old therapist said that he was done with me, just kidding he said that maybe he wasn't the right person for the kind of help that i needed an give me a recommendation for another therapist friend of his.

Story

The recommendation my old therapist give me was like 3ish weeks ago but i couldn't reserve an appointment until last week because of lack of money and also she (new therapist) was on a full schedule.

Anyway, finally i went to my appointment and... It wasn't great, at least a good part of it and maybe i'm sugar coating the "good part" because being honest i went hopeful of this girl due of how sure my old therapist seemed to be.

The start of the session starts with her asking the typical "first session questions" basic information in regards of who i am and why i'm seeking professional help, nothing out of the ordinary.

and then it happens...

The downfall

At some point she asked me about what was my religion fate (for context most of the people of my country is either catholic or something related). My answer was that i didn't have any faith on anything particular, she asked my reasons (pretty normal and expected question) and i just said something along the lines of "It doesn't makes much sense to me that's all".

I don't know enough about how much is "too much". But i'm pretty confident on saying from that moment and on, she let slip a a lot more of personal opinions than most people would agree a professional should offer without asking first.

She went on about how in our life we inevitably are going to run into situations where something inexplicable for only the logic reasoning is going to happen and how it was on the human nature to try to find explanations to the things we don't naturally comprehend and when aren't successful is likely to enter in a distress state (which isn't crazy and i can agree to some point with this take).

But now i tried to explain how that wasn't a problem i could relate to because from my perspective not knowing something isn't the end of the world. Not knowing something it's just that Not knowing that doesn't mean i'm going to jump to supernatural reasoning, not knowing for me is just a temporal state that may be resolve on my lifespan or may not. But not knowing isn't something i'm afraid to admit.

Not included in the session itself but i think we as humans have build a tower of knowledge over time. Things we didn't know in the past now are common information that anyone can google in a few minutes. We have demonstrate in the past that not knowing now isn't a bad thing, just something we need to work on. Maybe eventually we would run into something that is just to complex to comprehend to a fundamental level like as we are in a Lovecraftian novel you know? but for now i'm going to stick with a bit of hope in the humanity as a whole. There's a lot of bad things with us but i love the good things related to how we try to comprehend our world.

Anyway i'm going off on branches. At this point she seemed like she was ignoring what i was saying, i think she got into this idea of my problems being a result of my lack of faith. I mean i'm not an idiot i can understand how of faith can contribute to the feeling of hopelessness and depression, if you have less things to keep you up it makes sense i get it.

But this woman now starts talking about my feelings (like literally mine not hers) and things "i was feeling" and... It was weird, like... She was talking vaguely about stuff i said earlier in the session but with faith components very very augmented, she went on and on for minutes without letting me talk, and at the end i tried, really fucking tried to explain her like she is five, i swear i tried to vocalize my feelings in the most easy way to understand but she didn't listen to me at all.

Ok, then i was like "welp at least she seems more relaxed now". And she proceeds to say "I like to keep my sessions balancing people physically, emotionally but more importantly spiritually" in that precise moment my mind said "aw shiet, please i don't want this anymore".

I don't know if my English is good enough to communicate how much i was frustrated to at this point it was really really bad.

On top of that

When finally, she seemed to stop being so passionate about the faith stuff. We started talking a component related to my feelings "emotional flattening" is the literal translation i don't know if that is the real translation. Anyway i'm not going to go into much detail because is a rather long explanation but basically it was like she was in her mind "Naw this dude doesn't understand at all how is he feeling". It seemed like she was taking the incorrect narrative and accepting it as a truth. And yes i understand therapist are supposed to have some level of doubt, but this woman was either doubting about absolutely everything that was coming out of my mind, or she was really fucking bad at communicating the opposite.

In the end

At the end of the session i leaved with this feeling of doubt about going to another session with her or what, u know?

But later in the night, when i was taking a shower i remembered all, i was going point by point, remembering every detail i could and... It was so frustrating, so frustrating indeed that i started crying, more like a ugly sob but still, i hate it so much. I DONT WANNA GO WITH HER ANYMORE how fucking horrible it was.

In a few weeks i'm going to reserve an appointment with my old therapist even if is just to say "Your friend is a huge idiot, sorry not sorry is the reality". Ok maybe without being so intense but i do wanna share the experience in more detail with him because he was the one who recommended me to go with her and i think he should know what was my experience overall.

TL;DR

Old therapist good, new therapist insensible bitch, going to old therapist against to rant about new therapist. I'm not going ever again to new therapist.

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Thank you for being my air while i talk about this.